Monday, December 10, 2012

Picking & choosing

I have been considering writing a guide for being in any kind of relationship with a married person.

Most people would discourage it altogether. However, I know of someone that listened to her heart & perserviered.

I don't want to hear all of the moral arguments.

I know how I feel. And right now, I want to keep feeling the amazing feelings I am feeling.

Don't get me wrong. It's not all wine & roses.
I knew what I was getting into when we met.

I just didn't know I'd fall so fast & hard.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Slowly getting back in the thick of it, not

Being the creature that I am. I need to ease back into things. I spook easily and more often than not, I spook my 'prey'.

In the beginning of October I received a message on Fetlife that was far from the usual types of messages. All it asked was, if there were any other Artsy type events going on in the Port Huron Area during the first weekend. Really? No, "would you put a diaper on me Mistress"? no, "I wanna be spanked please" from some idiot in Sweden? Seriously? My arms are not that long.

I did reply, and spoke about what I'm doing or was doing, at the Studio. He didn't seem interested about that, though it did coincide with his plans; we agreed to meet for lunch. We texted and had a very short conversation before our lunch and I was disappointed yet glad he was forthright in telling me he was married.

Now, my track record with married guys is dismal at best. There haven't been any that I've crossed the line with, however I almost always secretly wished that they weren't. It's just easier, and quite honestly I feel like a smuck that they are lying to their wives. Yes, I have a guilty conscience sometimes. Just sometimes.

So, we'll call this guy Chicago boy, because eventually we went to Chicago, the week after we met. Yes. I drove, six hours in his car, shotgun after knowing him a few hours and barely playing for the first time. He's that interesting. We met in Ann Arbor and hit the road and drove, and drove.... and he whips out (settle down it's just an expression and we WERE driving) some great tunes...

"I've never sang karaoke to 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' by Meatloaf." he casually quipped.
Again, are you serious? I was a karaoke host when I lived in Kansas.... Which I imparted with a devilish smirk. And I'll be damned if he had it on the numerous songs he had pre loaded in his system. We had to wait through the Baseball scene part of it but otherwise laughed at the convenience of his lack of the experience and my abundance of singing for a living or just for fun.

I have to say, up until this point I was constantly muttering inside my head "This is not a D/s experience, this is weird. It's NORMAL." Well apart from the point that he's married and OMG did I say that while we were driving his wife called?
Jesus! I was fighting an onset of Asthma and kept coughing, rather loudly into my sleeve while he had her on speaker phone and I was choking to death. I was so paranoid she'd ask what the noise was. But I digress....

The music started, the baseball part was over and we started our vocal journey as it were.
He has a remarkable speaking voice, just deep enough but not Grandpa deep. That would be odd since he's 4 years my junior. (Yes still going for the young ones) Just enough of a lisp to be endearing, but you aren't suppose to become endeared to a potential sub.

Says fucking WHO?

He has a great voice, though I have a feeling that he has been told otherwise. It's unfortunate that I won't be able to drag him to a bar and sing with him. (Too public) It would have been a blast.

Now, the physical part. Initially we barely played. I believe that the generation before me would have called what we did, making out with some heavy petting.  He is the first guy I've been with that is uncircumcised so that was interesting. I usually have the opposite reaction to differences in bodies. I was very interested in texture, and what happened when he got an erection... I still am.

In Chicago, I tried (unsuccessfully, in my mind) to inspect and measure him appropriately for a collar, harness and numerous apparatuses to be used or attached to his cock. I was nervous, I'm sure he was terrified; as I was in Bitch mode. However as the night progressed it was amazing. In fact, the entire weekend was incredible... Which will be my topic for my next post, soon.

Let's just say, slowly getting back into things is not my strong suit. But this time it hasn't backfired on me... yet....