An affliction I have developed as of late.
Forced muting of all if the thoughts & feelings that screamed to escape & stand center stage. A stage with no audience. Not even of the heckling sort.
I watch the world that spins around me and realise that what I value is temporary. What I long for will only come and go as it suits others.
Now is the time for me to come face to face with as I am in this tiny corner of the universe I will be here, essentially; alone.
Too old to keep putting myself out there. (Where ever there is). Too young to become the cat lady.
Not everyone gets a circle if support. So offering to be part of one for someone else is fruitless.
I'll stand by my word. Spoken previously and sincerely. But going forward, I'll not paint
Myself in a corner by offering so much there's nothing left of me.
Watch the others, so successful. So admired. It's easy to understand why I chose silence.